After many days of surveying plans and layouts of the streets
of NYC, my friend, let's just call her Benny, and I decided to hit the
streets. Our first outing was on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in March.
(Keep in mind - this sucker had been taping for a month now, and I had
no sightings yet.) We were desperate people. We had narrowed it down
to within a radius of a few blocks, but with no luck. Things even got
so bad as to ask a stranger for guidance. Some random non-fan said she
has seen them around, but didn't know where they lived. Amateur. I couldn't
believe our finely laid plan was a bust. Didn't they know our days were
numbered and I, I mean we, only had a short time to make our debut?=
Since Benny obviously wasn't as into it as I was, I decided to cut
the dead weight. By myself, I made my nightly walks home from the gym
(only a few blocks out of the way) through TRW land (I think we can
use the initials here, folks). Picture this - the sun is setting over
the Hudson River, I am exhausted after a long day on-line, I mean working,
and I am walking home from the gym. Scoping. Looking. Checking under
bushes for cameras. Doing whatever it takes. Up from the humble street
rises a converted factory building lit up like an airport. I have found
the house! My heart started racing, I started to sweat. Above a simple
storefront stood my object of desire. I ran to the corner to use a payphone
(eew - my cell phone was at home - and it was an emergency), collect
call Benny and tell her/rub it in. You can bet your life we were there
later that night, staring into the empty windows, searching for signs
of life.
DAYLIGHT VIEWING, PART I
The following Sunday, Benny and I made another pilgrimage to the house.
This time, we knew our target. As we manned our post across the street,
Benny said words to me that brought tears to my eyes. "Do you want
to look through the binoculars I brought?" I wept. Then I grabbed
them. "Is this illegal?" we wondered. Who cares - it doesn't
get any better than this. Our first sign of life was a delivery man
bringing in food. A young guy answered the door. Cast member? Part of
the crew? Friend of cast member? Who cares - it was life. Next up, a
blonde shuts the center window on the second floor. She had to be a
cast member - yet she oddly resembled Kelly from last season. Hmmmm.
(She would later become known as The Window Shutter).
NIGHT VIEWING, PART I
After dinner one Saturday evening, Benny and I made an impromptu visit.
What a jackpot. As we watched in our usual position, Benny grabbed my
arm - someone was coming outside! Paydirt. It seemed to be a light-skinned
black girl, dressed in head to toe hoochie. Out came the camera crew.
My blood ran cold. We trailed them for several blocks, often with the
cameras facing her (meaning facing us). She walked to the subway station
and descended the steps. Now, keep in mind, it is now about 1:00 in
the morning and this girl, probably new to NYC, is taking the subway
somewhere alone. She can't be the smartest Tic Tac. We opted not to
follow her onto the train after a quick look at who/what was around
us. I still regret that split-second decision.
Many more days and nights of quality sightings occurred over the next
few months. A highlight being when I saw them get on the little TRW
bus to go on their vacation. If only I had followed them to the airport.
NIGHT VIEWING, PART II
Benny and I are hungry. Naturally, we choose a restaurant near TRW
house. As we assume the position for a quick viewing of the house, we
see action. Two young girls outside, cameras, dancing. My heart races.
Not long after, the cameras seem to get bored with them (Once the series
starts airing, we learn this is only a sign of things to come with these
two) and leave. Benny and I move in for the Initial Contact. I am so
excited I convince Benny to break the barrier by asking the ingenius
question, "Aren't you guys on the Real World?" At this point
I am not sure whether they will even talk to us, because as any aficionado
knows, they are not allowed to discuss "The Project". As luck
has it, these two are idiots. Tall girl (later to be named Coral, queen
of the native headdress) and Short Girl (later revealed to be Lori,
please get a clue about Kevin) seem to be mentally challenged. I think,
"is this a special edition of TRW, sort of like a celebrity Millionaire
type of thing?" I'm all for diversity, but don't monkey around
with a good formula, MTV. After playing a short game of "We're
Not on The Real World" and "Yes You are Because You're Wearing
Microphones", they slip up and tell us they challenged the Road
Rules team this year. Jackpot. They seemed friendly enough, but without
the cameras, they weren't nearly as interesting. The one bright spot,
however, is that in some control room, somewhere behind those doors,
Benny and I are on tape asking them good questions like "Where
are you from?" and "What does the house look like?" and
the ever-popular "So, who's the gay this year?"
CONCLUSION
I guess you can't appreciate this unless you are truly devoted/demented.
I would like to think, though, that after that last night those two
girls went upstairs and talked to each other about "the two freaks
that just talked to us" and "how they keep looking with binoculars
into our windows." Please, let's just hope they said it on camera.
