click here to
check out Augi's interview with Phil Keoghan!!
REAL WORLD ROAD RULES CHALLENGE
The Tide Turns
The Basics:
1. The RW team goes against its voting policy and boots Stephen-Lindsay
off the show, despite the fact they're in 4th place. That's how much
everyone hates Stephen.
2. The rest of the RWers (primarily Norm and Becky) erupt in disgust
at their inner circle not following their plan.
3. Some bungee basketball contest takes place. Bungee off a high-dive
with your partner and each shoot a ball into some baskets floating
in the pool below. Only one person scores - Theo.
4. RWers Mike-Flora and RRers Adam-Jisela get kicked off.
Is it me or did we all think this show was gonna be much more exciting
and fun to watch? I'm sorry, did I write that? Oh well, no going back
now. Tonight's episode picked up where last week's left off - at the
dramatic RW inner circle meeting where Kelley refused to vote off
her pal Lindsay, but was outnumbered and didn't seem to be able to
change anyone else's mind. So what happens? Ta-dah! They decide to
boot off Lindsay-Stephen anyway, but as Kelley reminds the inner circle
- 'please make sure you all tell Lindsay just how cool she is because
she is just sooooo cool. Etc.' As the teams make their way back to
announce the boot-ees, there's a quick shot of Holly where she's seen
talking about the RW team. I can't remember what she said - it's really
not that important - but Mtv felt the need to put it up on the screen
like some foreign film. I mean she wasn't speaking that lowly. I heard
her ok… but you kow, they didn't want you to miss this little
bit of cat-iness. I guess that's the role they've given her and they
want to make damn sure you're aware of that. When I saw the whole
thing go down, I immediately flashed back to evil thoughts of her
and that husband of hers trying to outsmart everyone with their (failed)
alliance plan. And then I felt good about it… but I still want
her to lose.
I digress. After the announcement, Lindsay takes it well. The others
however do not. Stephen is pissed and storms out. Hey man - he's not
here to make friends. And you gotta give it to him - he was right
about the Rwers not being able to stay true to their pact. If you
remember correctly, he was the only one who objected to the 'eliminate-the-lowest-scoring-team-and-we'll-all-share-the-profits'
plan. I wonder if that's because he knew this would happen? I mean,
does he know that they all hate him? Has he grown up since his RW
Seattle experience? Does someone need to slap this guy? Irene, where
are you? Hellooooooooooooo?
Norm and Becky are also dumbfounded by the way things turned out.
Afterall, Norm was the architect of the whole share-the-wealth plan
to begin with. He demands answers. Becky also starts getting loud.
There's some minor yelling and while no really good lines are delivered
(Becky yelling 'I disagree with you.' Or the Miz saying 'you should
direct your anger elsewhere' were pretty damn tame if you ask me.)
the RW team looks like it might unravel - kinda like the RR team after
the whole alliance theory got out and they went nuts. Why couldn't
the Miz just bust out some moves or something. Anything to add a little
juice, please!!
As for the RRers, they look like the more in-sync team of the two.
They simply boot out the lowest scoring team: Chris-Belou. (Did you
notice Theo's guns when he had his arms up, as he announced the team's
decision? When does this guy have time to work out?) This bums me
out because I'll miss Belou. She was truly one of the most colorful
characters in this series, yo! And I was jonesing for just one more
freak out, bitching and cussing session, all ending with her fabulous
sentence-ender: yo! She did manage to make me crack up one last time
when she says 'I'm leaving with dignity.' Can someone hit rewind please!
How 'bout the time she called Holly a bitch and wished Holly and Chadwick
could never have babies, yo? Give me some more of that dignity…or
give me death.
Chris also made me laugh with his final statement. He says something
like 'hey, I may not have won that 50K, but I won that much more in
emotion.' Huh? What's he talking about? Maybe he meant he won that
much in 'emotional outbursts' because of all the time he had to spend
with Belou.
And now it's time for our weekly challenge. Tonight: Bungee hoops.
That's right, the teammates get strapped together and bungee jump
above a pool with floating basketball hoops in it. Each one has to
throw their one ball into the hoops for points. Theo is the only one
to accomplish the feat. Needless to say, this contest continues the
show's streak of consecutive non-exciting 'challenges.' Sure, bungee
jumping is exciting, but how many times have we seen that on tv already?
And didn't anyone test these challenges out beforehand? Why have the
teams go through an almost impossible challenge. This equals boredom
to the viewer. I don't care how skimpily dressed everyone is or how
much they're giggling and goofing off and being cute bonding together
- it doesn't work! How many more Monday nights am I gonna waste watching
these boring challenges? What's wrong with with maybe mixing it up
and getting some intellect involved? Like trivia questions of some
sort. Maybe they can do an obstacle course, but they can only get
past certain points after answering some questions? There you go -
that's a game right there! How easy was that? And it's also physical
so the producers can have them running around and sweating in their
little tank tops and shorts etc…. (note to self: calm down and
don't be giving away good ideas for free.)
Ok, as I was saying, the challenge really wasn't that interesting.
Danny and Becky even bailed because they're afraid of heights. Norm
seemed quite pissed about Becky not being there for 'the team' and
I totally understand that. What I didn't understand was how come he
only got one ball? I mean isn't it 2 balls per team? If your teammate
decides to bail, you should at least get another ball to throw. Not
that it would have made a difference I think, but at least it would
have given the player more hope.
At about this point I started to doze off. I remember seeing Jisela
say something about 'talking to God,' but I just thought I was having
a weird dream. Then I definitely recall Theo spazzing out when he
tried to take his scooter for a victory lap which was a funny moment
because all the other players were watching. How hard can a scooter
be to handle?
No dramatic cliffhangers this week. The RRers boot out Jisela-Adam
(Jisela - very quiet lately. She didn't even hook up with anyone from
what I remember? And I was waiting for Coral or the Miz to bring up
the way she dissed Malik on RW last season. That was harsh!) while
RW kicks off the lowest scoring team, Mike-Flora. Flora was a huge
disappointment. Don't know if you read Josh Wolk's piece in this week's
Entertainment Weekly, but I totally agree with him. During Miami RW
you could always count on her for some sort of wacky hi-jinks and
drama. This time - nothing. Maybe she grew up or something? Anyway,
I don't think she'll be invited back. As for Mike - Mr. Do-it-in-the-shower-with-a-cocktail-waitress-while-my-housemate-looks-on
(and probably takes notes) - you can always count on him to be talking
about his #1 topic. He didn't seem to mind getting kicked off because
he's going home 'to have sushi and sex, sex, sex.' Woo-hoo. Sushi…and
then sex! I know I always think about those things together as well,
but sometimes I'll have sex first… and then get sushi. Hey, who
cares about 50K when you can go home to have sushi and sex right?
And finally, in the scenes for next week, it looks like our boy,
The Miz, is gonna finally score some action. Sing it with me: Go Miz…
Go Miz… Go Miz! Tara's cute so kudos to The Miz. At least one
thing's for sure. We already know that next week's episode is gonna
be better than this week's. Let's keep our fingers crossed though,
just in case.
NOTE FROM LAST WEEK: The votes are in. Last week I asked all of you
to write me with who you thought the hottest people (both guys and
girls) were on the show. After sifting through all of the responses
(ok, there weren't that many), the winners are: RW- Kelley and Sean;
RR- Holly and Dan. Special thanks to superfan Rebecca Bruno for best
responses. Check these out: "Kelley is the prettiest girl along
with Elka. I don't like Lindsey's leathery skin tan look." And
"For RR, it's Dan, he is so cute! For the record, Yes was a super
hottie and was unfairly voted off."
Well ok then. See you all next week…
ONE-A-DAYS
Hey, don't just turn watch the popular stuff - there's a whole world
of TV out there that you haven't even seen. Check out these alternative
viewing options.
TUESDAY:
The Osbournes (Mtv 10:30pm)
I don't know who came up with this idea, but award that person a medal!
Ozzy at dinner? Ozzy checking the kids' homework? Ozzy spending QT with
the missus? Anything is possible. Hey maybe even Lita Ford will come
over for another duet. This is like finding gold.
OR
The Lottery (USA late Tues/early Wed 2am)
Check out Felicity herself Keri Russel trying not to laugh as former
Mtv meat puppet Dan Cortese attempts to delivers his lines in this '96
version of the famous Shirley Jackson short story. You know, we had
to read this in grade school and write a report on it as punishment
for acting up in class… ah, spitballs, where have you gone?
WEDNESDAY:
Top Secret Beaches (The Travel Channel 8pm-2am)
The Travel Channel is at it again. Did you know it's Beach Week? Well,
it is. So join Son of the Beach sexpot Leila Arcieri and former Baywatch
babe Kelly Packard as they take you on a trip to exotic places. Think
about that one guys.
THURSDAY:
Sports Collisions and Crackups (The Learning Channel 10pm)
Unusual sports moments ranging from bizarre to unusual to humorous is
what this special is all about. I'm not sure what we're supposed to
'learn' from all this, but it better be more than just Bobby Knight
throwing that chair across the court and the ball going through Bill
Buckner's legs.
FRIDAY:
The Motion Picture (The History Channel 7pm)
See films from the very early days of motion pictures… and then
conduct an inner dialogue about which is better: the early stuff or
something like Rollerball? Where would you spend your $10?
OR
Carrie
Fisher (Oxygen 10pm)
In case you don't know by now, Princess Leia herself has her very own
talk show on Oxygen. Am I recommending that you watch it? No. But it
is a good excuse for me to show a pic of her in that oh-so-famous little
number she wore in Jedi. From me to all my brothers out there. May the
force be with you.
The Challenge Gets Ugly
The Basics:
1. Stephen and Coral quarrel again.
2. A rope-climbing challenge is won by RW's Danny & Kelly.
3. The show ends with the RW inner circles still debating on who to
kick off: Mike and Flora who scored the lowest points or Lindsay and
Stephen b/c they just can't stand Stephen one bit.
As I was settling into my couch and last night's episode was beginning,
I almost puked up my Alphabets when I heard Holly talking baby-talk
to hubby Chadwick. 'Heyyyy Babyyyy…" Ugh - do we need to
hear that? Is that any kind of way to kick off a show? Anyway, it
was an omen as to how the rest of the show would go.
Call me slow, but I think I finally realized what's wrong with this
show. There's just too many people on it. And because of that, it's
hard to get into or care about any one storyline.
Take
for instance the Stephen-Coral confrontation at the top of the show.
He approaches her and starts throwing around this 'respect me and
I'll respect you' blather which of course doesn't fly with her. (ps
- she's reminding me of an early version of herself from last year's
RW - you know, when she used to pick on Mike -aka 'The Miz' - all
the time, before lightening up a bit). We know that they haven't gotten
along since the very first episode, but the buildup to this confrontation
- because of the distractions of about 20 other cast members running
around and talking to camera - just didn't seem to be there. It was
kinda jarring when the whole thing went down - not to mention did
anyone really care? Sure, it foreshadows how things would end, but
that's not enough. The fight scene itself wasn't strong enough. Give
me more Belou drinking and cussing, yo (instead of tonight's clip
of her actually making sense)… more Mike doing 'the Miz,' or
more Holly-Chadwick bashing… oh, I'm sorry, he got booted off
last week. Boo hoo. But hey, don't worry there Chadster - the Mrs.
is fighting for the both of you now!
Tonight's challenge. Rope climbing! Climb past as many buoys as you
can to score points. I couldn't begin to express my disappointment
here. What is this, high school gym class? It's a 'combined' RW-RR
challenge. The big time. Prime time. Can't they shell out some money
and have them doing something just a little bit more radical or dangerous?
(Note to producers: I hope whomever decided to shoot this contest
in the dark got canned. I couldn't tell what the hell was going on?
Just kept thinking about how much better this event would be if I
could actually 'see' what was going on, you know?)
Highlights, or lowlights if you prefer, included social misfit Stephen
showing his true colors by yelling 'my nuts' as he struggled to make
his way up; Mike giving himself a pep talk in the form of 'the Miz'
as he struggled on his climb; and Kelley surprising everyone by climbing
the highest and helping herself and Danny win the competition and
a big money prize. What unfortunately, wasn't a surprise was Kelley
immediately blabbing about her boyfriend Peter. 'My boyfriend Peter
just used our last dime to buy a can of tuna, but now we have more.
Yay. Blah blah blah.' Question: isn't Peter a doctor? When was the
last time you heard about a poor doctor?
After the confusing darkness of the challenge, it was time for (drumroll
please) tribal council….er, I mean the inner circle. The RR inner
circle consists of Theo-Holly, Dan-Tara, and Timmy-Emily. They try
to come up with some plan similar to the one RW has in place in terms
of sharing the profits. Everyone seems to agree except Holly. She
mutters something about 'there's 2 of me.' I get confused. And they
end up agreeing to vote out Chis-Belou. On the RW side however, things
get… interesting. The inner circle has changed and now consists
of Danny-Kelley, Mike-Coral, and Sean-Elka. Sean basically states
what the viewer's thinking - there's 2 things we can do here: eliminate
the lowest scoring team like we said we would or (be total scumbags)
and eliminate Stephen-Lindsay because Stephen's such an ass. Queen
Coral takes full advantage of being in the inner circle and gives
a whole discourse on how Stephen's 'negative energy is affecting my
performance.' That's BS. She just doesn't like the guy and should
just say - 'look, the guy's an ass and not a team player and I want
him out.'
On
the flipside, our girl Kelley seems to have created such a bond with
Lindsay that she flat out 'refuses' to vote the Stephen-Lindsay team
out. Round and round we go and just as I'm sitting up and expecting
something juicy to happen, I see credits rolling and the show is over.
They couldn't even give us a decent conclusion… just left us
hanging like that. I was so pissed!!! I mean - can you flat out just
refuse to vote? Will the RWers go against their word (guess everyone's
gotta be a scumbag sometimes) and boot out social pariah Stephen -
even if it means losing the lovely Lindsay. Or will they stick to
their guns, despite Coral's desperate pleas - and boot out the lowest
scoring team of Mike-Flora? Find out what happens next week. Same
bat time. Same bat channel.
Last
question: I want to know what you guys think. My wife says they won't
boot off Lindsay because she's too hot. That Lindsay and Kelley will
stick around for awhile because they're easy on the eyes. Are these
two really the hottest babes on the show? Please write in and let
me know your thoughts. What about Tara? Elka? Becky? Norm?
Oh, ok, just to make it even, I'm also keeping tabs on who the hottest
guy on show is?
Is it Theo? Sean? Dan? I have no idea… but am dying to hear your
thoughts…
Will include it in next week's review. See ya then.
(previous week)
The Basics:
1. The game of musical water floats continues. Steven and Lindsay
from RW are the winners, but Steven makes an ass of himself by being
loud and obnoxious, not to mention the fact that he annoys just about
everyone else because of all the elbows he tosses at both the guys
and the girls.
2. Chadwick and Piggy do not make it back into the hallowed 'Inner
Circle' and although Holly does her darn bestest to save her husband,
they get voted off, despite finishing in 4th place. The RW team sticks
to its guns to vote off whichever team finishes last and Mike and
Sharon from RW London get das boot. And who can even really remember
them anyway?
3. Holly vows that she'll fight for the both her and her husband from
now on and that the remaining teams have a 'challenge ahead of them'…
or some kind of veiled bizarro threat like that.
Hello all. Ok, I'm sure some of you are asking, 'why in the world
is he reviewing the Real World/Road Rules challenge?' And I'm sure
even others of you are like 'who the hell watches this show?' While
still others are probably saying, "What's wrong with this dweeb?"
I know. I know. You see, I just think it's a great show to goof on
(plus I'm a RW addict and Jenny
has so graciously allowed me to dip into her Real World/Road Rules
territory. Thank you Jenny!!) and I've got some time until the new
Amazing Race kicks in on March 11.
So I hope you'll watch, read… and laugh out loud at least once
at some point. If not, just send an e-mail to laurie@twogirlsandatv.com
that says: "hey, this guy deserves the gold medal for NOT being
funny." (or feel free to write her about how much you like me…
or how much you like the site etc….)
So, enough with the formalities - and on with the funnies, er, the
review.
I
can't remember the very first show of this series exactly, but I believe
it was Chadwick (may I call you Chad? And what's up w/your hair?)
who set up this whole alliance thing (soooo Survivor) with the other
2 teams (one of which included his wife, Holly) that made the inner
circle and booted the 4th strongest RR team, which happened to be
Veronica and Yes. The move shocked all the remaining teams and was
the beginning of some very bad karma that has continued to linger
over the entire contest. (In contrast, the RW teams all got together
and have decided on a form of payout that will be split among all
remaining teams and to only eliminate the weakest team after every
contest. Isn't that special?) Since Chad and Piggy were the first
ones eliminated in the musical water floats game (much to the joy
of almost all the other RR teams), their total number of points left
them in 4th place and out of the inner circle - replaced by Tara and
Dan.
T
& D immediately go on the offensive and vote to boot them off.
Holly and Theo (in the inner circle for the 2nd time along with Timmy
and Emily) vote for Chris and Belou (they better not boot her just
yet - she is just explosively good television waiting to happen, yo.)
Emily immediately votes for giving Chad the boot as well, but Timmy
is unsure. The vote has come down to him and he picks the worst possible
time to start having a moral dilemma about keeping Chad b/c he's a
great competitor. Holly argues valiantly to save her husband. She
really put up a good fight especially when she said 'now's the time
to change the way things are done' in reference to the complaints
about how to vote teams off. But, acting more like a pansy each second,
Timmy delays the inevitable and has a conference with Emily outside
where she tells him that booting Chad is the only right thing to do.
She should have just drop-kicked him into reality and taken his skirt
off. Chad must go. Had he remained, the atmosphere surrounding the
other RR teams would have just gotten uglier. (Jisela would've probably
had another coniption.) Plus, did we really care to see any more footage
of Chad and Holly doing their own thing (hanging in bed/taking a walk/not
going to the Toga party etc… was beginning to make me puke) while
the other people partied? Helllllll no.
Good scene when they finally vote him off - when they start beating
around the bush while explaining why, he yells in disgust 'just tell
the truth man." Oh I'll tell you the truth allright Chadwick
my boy - you started this alliance crap and now you got burned by
it. Sucks don't it. Smell ya later… keep Holly's pillow warm
back home, will ya?
Of course, the last laugh may still be his b/c if Holly is on the
winning team, he'll still see a big portion of the profits. So damn
us anyway (at least until Holly crumbles). I also enjoyed the way
Holly psuedo-threatens everyone at the end when she's upset: "they
have a challenge ahead of them yada yada yada…" What is
she gonna do - start kicking every teams' ass? Although her partner
Theo is quite good, who knows what's gonna happen.
On
the Real World side, things couldn't be better. Well, except for one
angry dude named Steven. The guy known for the 'bitch-slap heard 'round
the world,' Steven just doesn't seem to get it. Kinda like that one
socially awkward friend we all have. Always doing the wrong thing
and not realizing it. While Steven claims he's 'not here to make friends,'
that's still no reason to act like such a jackass. The guy was going
nuts in the musical water floats contest: jumping on people, tossing
elbows (he crushed Holly with a really good one at the end of the
last episode as shown in slow motion - thanks Mtv!), hootin' and hollerin'
like some little spoiled kid etc. Lucky for him, he and teammate Lindsay
got into the inner circle. Otherwise, he may have gotten the boot.
While the RW team says they'll boot the lowest scoring team each contest,
more and more RWers are starting to really dislike him. Ok, hate him
- there, I said it. Even the holy and virginal Elka from RW Boston
calls him an a**hole! Oh dear. In fact, in the scenes for next week,
it looks like Coral calls together a little conference to share her
feelings on the matter so who knows what's gonna happen. Hey, maybe
he'll be the first guy 'asked to leave a competition' ala Puck getting
booted from the SF house. I don't think anyone would mind…
Other observations:
How come host Mark is always going over the rules to everything while
host Eric Nies is just kinda standing there being all pretty? Is Eric
not allowed to talk? Ps -ladies, keep your eyes peeled for the Grind
dance challenge, where Eric will really show off the goods!! There's
just gotta be one, right?
Does anyone know what happens at the end? How does a team win $300K?
I have no idea how this works. Oh well… see you next week.
