PBS Sprout - constantly

Somebody please save me from the nightmare that is Caillou.

This has got to be one of the most whine-inspiring shows for toddlers in history. My son loves it, but the more he watches, the more he learns to whine and complain and demand. And he's a great kid! My husband has been threatening to delete Caillou episodes from our dvr, and I don't blame him.

Caillou is this little bald 4 year-old with a baby sister. Nothing exciting ever happens on Caillou, which is the whole point -- it's about day-to-day normal life. I guess it's normal life. His parents don't seem to ever have to go anywhere or do anything except come up with fun things for Caillou to do, and they never yell at him, and baby sister Rosie is a brat who gets away with just about everything. This is all narrated by some woman who offers non-insights like "Caillou wanted to go next door, but he was scared."

Why is Caillou bald? Why is his name Caillou? Why doesn't somebody just kill him? I nominate Mr. Hinkle.

The only way to stay entertained by this show is to pretend they're going to do some of my husband's suggested plotlines:

"Caillou had never served on jury duty before. . ."

“Caillou had never been to a slaughterhouse, and he was curious.”

 “Caillou had never been to a sweatshop before, and he was excited to see where his mommy worked.”

“Caillou had never seen a real live Borg, and he didn’t like the way it kept saying ‘resistance is futile’.”

“Caillou had never been to Guantanamo Bay, and he was excited.”

“Caillou had never seen a drag queen before.  He wasn’t quite sure what to make of the funny man in the red dress.”

“Caillou had never been to a tattoo parlor.   He didn’t like the smoke coming from the man’s cigar, but he jumped right up into the chair and unrolled his sleeve. . . ”

“Caillou had never cleaned and gutted a deer before…”

“Caillou had never been interrogated, and he was excited.”
“What’s ‘waterboarding’, mommy?”
“Well, Caillou, that’s something the soldiers do here to help people remember things.”
The man in the black boots didn’t smile much, and Caillou hoped he could remember something that would make the man happy.